I finally learned to be selfish and I couldn’t be more proud of myself. It took a while. I didn’t even realize selfish was something that anyone would ai
m to be. Not until I found myself in a relationship from hell, crying to my sister and wanting “out”.
“I don’t understand,” I cried, “I am such a good person. I treat him and everyone with the utmost respect. I care for people more than I care for myself. I am a good person. I don’t deserve this”
“Kimberly, you can’t expect anyone to react to any situation the same way you do. You give and you give and you give and you give and no one (she might have called them a few not-so-nice names with four letter words attached) is refilling you. You are an empty vessel with nothing left to give.
But here is the part that stuck…
She said, “You have to stop being so selfless and become selfish. Your happiness or success should not be contingent on what others do or don’t do. Live life for you. Find happiness in you. Do for you. And ONLY then will you be able to bring out the best in people around you.”
Man, those words stuck to me like glue. They threw me off a bit because they went against everything I stood for. Help people. Say nice things. Feed the homeless. Eat Last. Open Doors. Say Please. Say Thank You. Apologize. Comfort… nurture. The list goes on.
How Could I become Un-Selfless? Will I turn into a Bitch? What about my vow to be humble? What about my love to love, give love, be loved? Am I supposed to trash all of those things down the drain with my selflessness?
The over analytical freak in me went bizerk.
But then it hit me.
I have been preaching this message for years now. I just have never applied it to my own life.
When my clients blame their work, family or life to them not exercising. My reply is usually something like this. “If you are dead, depressed, fatigued, or to weak to function you CAN NOT be a good father, mother, worker, friend, or lover.”
So, If you MUST blame your lack of exercise on external factors then perhaps you can flip it and exercise to better those external factors.
Either way, Make it about YOU. Put YOU first. BECOME SELFISH.
Your thoughts?
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1 comment
Golly
August 24, 2012 at 2:18 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Hi Kim,
Self care is not selfish at all!
You seem like a genuine, caring person who may have overextended yourself.
I agree with you, excuses for no exercise is unacceptable either way. If it is important enough to you, you’ll make time for it. You must sacrifice something to get and stay fit. If you don’t have a mere 20 minutes to do it because of this or that excuse then you have overextended yourself. If anyone guilts me for self care they don’t belong in my life.