Separate from the Negative (My Break-up Gave Me Life)

Separation. It’s defined as the division of something into constituent or distinct elements. It’s the action or state of moving or being moved apart. The only problem was I was still there. I could see the empty apartment and hear my thoughts echoing off the empty walls.  His signatures on the legal papers were clear and I had just submitted our notice to vacate…so we were indeed separate BUT I was still there.  My heart was there. My thoughts were there. My dreams … right there. He consumed me. This was supposed to be us moving on, yet I stood still.  We were supposed to be on the verge of becoming one with ourselves, two distinct elements but I felt incomplete. Like half of me was being ripped away so how could I move on when part of me was walking away with my other half…HIM.  I stood still.kimfblackwhite

…and so did all things around me.  I separated from my friends, my family, my writing, and even my clients. How ironic is it that the separation from the people who made me whole and never left was so effortless yet I couldn’t bare detaching from a relationship so poisonous that its venoms deteriorated my soul.

As months passed, I couldn’t seem to find my happiness. I painted pretty pictures on social media. I wore a smile on my face but the sadness and sense of self-pity became me behind the walls of my new one bedroom apartment. I felt alone and I couldn’t snap out of it.

Until one day I had an epiphany. I realized that I was approaching this entire break-up the wrong way.  It wasn’t the separation that I couldn’t handle. It was my inability to separate that was debilitating me. My inaction caused everything around me to crumble. I had to make a move.

The voice inside me whispered, “Kim, time stands still for no one. Move.” When I thought of all the legends, the successful people, the accomplished people, the happy people, even those who have been through divorces and came out on top, I realized they all have the same 24 hours as me. They all have the same 24 hours in a day as you. It is what we decide to do with them that makes or breaks our future.

Months of inaction after my separation was proof that inaction can be just as harmful as the wrong action. Nothing changed for my good because I was stuck.  It doesn’t matter how hard it is for you to get up and take action, just do it. Make a conscious decision that every day you will do something better, bigger, bolder than yesterday. Learn to separate from the negative instances and thoughts that are keeping you down. It’s okay to recognize that they are there and it’s okay to acknowledge their presence but make moves in the opposite direction. Speak life into positive things.

And just as I can learn to speak life into my relationships and self-confidence by saying “Kimberly, you are beautiful and despite this separation your life will abundantly be filled with everlasting love and gratifying relationships…”

You can learn to speak the same life into your weight loss or fitness goals (or whatever it is troubling you) by separating yourself from negative thoughts of what you cannot do and taking action with what you can.

Choose Life. Choose Action. Don’t Sit Still. Make A Move.

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